August 6, 2011 by

When does an individual in society become another puzzle piece to fit into the machine our government creates for us?

Individuality is a hard thing to come by these days. Sure, everyone has some small trait about them that makes them “unique”, but what ever happened to the belief that one’s self, internal and external, is the canvas in which we mold our true being? Everywhere I look these days I see another tool used by the government to turn us into zombies the way they see fit. May it be public school, which is controlled by the government on all levels, or the kinds of music allowed to be played on the radio. The United States’ number one virtue is the “land of the free”, but what is free if you cannot be yourself the way you want? Im not saying tear the system down in every way that limits us from doing whatever, but when one gives up the freedom of choosing who or what we want to be, what freedom do we have left?

Fuck what they say about the “right thing”. If you want be a lazy candy ass who sits in his room and plays World of Warcraft all day, then make it happen. If you want be a rebellious hipster who discourages all mainstream trends, more power to you. If you want to be the guy who stands on the road and flips the sign telling cars to move slow or to stop during road construction, be that guy, because no matter what you do or who you are, do you, and if you are happy doing what you do, no amount of discouragement will bring you down. Its sad to see girls these days seeking plastic surgery or looking for radical new ways to lose weight so they can look like the models in the magazines, I ask, why? Why do you want to be a carbon copy of someone else? Be who you are, you don’t need someone’s approval to make you happy.

One of the major points in the declaration of independence is the pursuit of happiness. Why is it everywhere I look I see someone or something trying to tell you where or how to find this happiness? The pursuit of happiness comes from inside you, not from another’s opinion. In school, health class teaches you the dangers of practically everything in this world, so if everything is dangerous, shouldn’t it all be equal? Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t drive without a seatbelt, don’t talk to much on the phone or you will get brain cancer, don’t have sex until you are married or you will get pregnant they say, well I say fuck them, no amount of factual bullshit they spew out at kids these days in an attempt to fit us into the matrix of this pre-created nonsense they call society will make me stop doing what makes me happy, and thats what the entire goal in life is, to make you happy, and to achieve that goal we must first be content with our own individuality,

The freedom of individuality is the greatest gift that we hold on too. Your own choices are personal to you and you alone, so if you want to sag your pants below your ass, or drink until you cant read the time on the clock, I say fuck it, do it all, and fuck everyone who tells you otherwise, because its the little things like that that make us stand apart from everyone else.

Fuck the system. You want to be the land of the free? You must start with yourself first.

 

– Jake

Rap Satire

August 3, 2011 by

click right mnhyea

Disclaimer: This post is a work of satire. Any similarities to real people, living or dead, is entirely intentional.

-Alex

Prom Satire (see link below)

August 3, 2011 by

click HERE

^^That’s what she said (she was from an indigenous African tribe that spoke in clicks)

-Alex

Kid Chart

July 31, 2011 by

click image to expand

Winnie-the-Pedo

July 23, 2011 by

What do bears do when they’re not wiping their asses on trees, searching for pic-uh-nic baskets or lusting over Christopher Robbins’ virginity?– maul the shit out of backpackers, according to every homepage I’ve seen this past week.

"Oh, Christopher, would you care for some honey? Just reach aaaaall the way in my jar there might be some left at the--there we go."

But pantsless pedo-bears like Winnie and douches like the media give bears a bad wrap. I mean, who hasn’t at least thought about killing a hippie in the woods? Besides, all animals love mauling the shit out of people (just look at what this leopard did a few days ago). Aliens come from across the galaxy just to spill our gooey human-bits. Hell, even people love killing people. I guess the point I’m trying to make with this post is that killing people is understandably fun when you have huge teeth and claws…or lasers. No, I’m not seeing a therapist. Why?

Oh, and I hate Yogi bear. Really fucking hate him.

^^If that doesn’t pump holes through the torso of your childhood I don’t know what will. Happy nightmares!

-Alex